mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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