My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I have demons in me.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Sober January is a disaster.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize