I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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