Me too!
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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