So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
