Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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