dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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