Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So many bounce houses so little time
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
