I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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