you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
