I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
so let's talk penis.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
