No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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