I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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