people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I will be naked everywhere
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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