my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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