So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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