I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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