omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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