what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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