It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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