I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
