Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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