I have demons in me.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
