I am in a vortex of obligation.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
