I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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