we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
