either way he was missing a nipple.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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