For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
