one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
