i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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