Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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