3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize