i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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