she is the kim kardashian of front butts
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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