You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
