omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i out mim tonsoeep
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