hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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