Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
