No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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