he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
