the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
