Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
