Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
