Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
