they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
