Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
if only i could text you this smell
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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