She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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