I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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