Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
