it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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