It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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