its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
