Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
