I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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