did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
