Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
