So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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