i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
