Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm like, not good at living.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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