i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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