...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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