this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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