Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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