please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
