Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
